In my daily Bible reading I have been focusing on Exodus, it is a book I have read thru many times. Yet reading it now after having just gone through some very tough months with Ethan's health. I have seen it with fresh eyes and lessons that apply to me today and maybe for you as well. I am not a Bible scholar, so I will try my best to get my thoughts down without ruining the theology behind my point.
The story begins after Moses had led the Israelites thru the Red Sea. They were rejoicing and singing that the Lord had saved them from the horse and rider. They left the Red Sea and entered the Desert of Shur. For 3 days they travelled in the desert without finding any water. Can you imagine how hot tired, dusty and incredibly thirsty they would have been? You can go many days without food but not water, so time was of the essence to find something to drink.
Soon they came to Marah where they found water, but they could not drink it because it was bitter, Marah means bitter. You can imagine their great disappointment at finally finding water, but not being able to drink it. They began to grumble and complain to Moses, saying, "What are we to drink"? It's important to note that Moses didn't lead them here by accident. He was following the Lord.
Exodus 13:21-22 "By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. Neither the pillar of cloud by day or the pillar of fire by night left it's place in front of the people".
Now God would have just led them thru the Red Sea, they are rejoicing happy, and then they face another challenge. Moses gives us a great example of what to do in times of trouble and distress. He cried out to God!!! The Lord answered Moses's prayer by showing him a piece of wood. He then threw it in the water and the water became sweet. I don't know about you, but isn't that a little weird? Why a piece of wood and as far as I have tasted, wood isn't sweet and certainly not sweet enough to make bitter water drinkable.
In Exodus 15:25-27 says this " There the Lord made a decree and a law for them and there he tested them. He said, "If you listen carefully to the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all of his decrees. I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord who heals you. Then they came to Elim, where there were 12 springs and 70 palm trees, and they camped there near the water".
As I read thru this passage a few things struck me: The Lord brought them to Marah, a place of bitter waters. Why did he do this? To show them that he is their provider in all circumstances, whether good or bad. Jesus never promised us that life as a follower of Christ would be easy. Anyone who promises you a life free from pain and hardship is lying.
We will all come to bitter waters in our life, but it is in these times that we must look to the tree that God has shown us. The cross of Christ,( which symbolizes the wood in this story), and let him make the bitter waters sweet. I have learned many things in dealing with Ethan's illness for the last 14 years. One of them being that God has never once left us alone, we may not understand and even question what in the world he is doing. But he has always been there for us and just like the Israelites in the Bible. He led them out of Marah the place of bitterness to Elim, a place of refreshment.
I love palm trees so this picture really struck a chord with me. I imagine that when they came upon Elim and saw 70 palm trees and 12 springs of water that they were in awe! Palm trees symbolize to me peace, rest and usually it means I am in my favourite place in the world, Hawaii. So for me the lesson I got out of these verses just reaffirmed to me once again that God is with me even in the midst of trials. If he leads me to to it, he will lead me thru it. He has over and over again proven that he will never leave or forsake us. I can count on him to be faithful and to bring us up out of the deep waters to a place of healing and restoration.
When Ethan was diagnosed in 2002 we went thru 7 years of constant relapses, prednisone, doctor's visits, lab tests etc. 7 years is a long time and I could go into a whole other blog post about how dark and discouraging a time that was. But I will just say that I cried out to God for relief, I begged him for a rest, where we could enjoy a normal life, not only for Ethan but for us a family. Relief came but in a different form than I had thought. Ethan would start 12 weeks of a low dose chemotherapy drug when he was in Grade 2. The hope was that this drug would reset his immune system and that he would either get a long break from all drugs, or that it would cause him to never have a relapse again. God granted us 3. 5 years of rest as this drug gave us all a much needed break. Treatment was not easy but the end result gave us a chance to be a normal family with no restrictions. After 3 years I was finally letting myself hope that Ethan might finally have been healed from his Nephrotic Syndrome.
Sadly the break was over in January of 2013 when Ethan was in grade 6. Once again we were taken to Marah and let me tell you these last 3 years have been some of the toughest we have ever gone through, and I thought the those earlier 7 years were hard!!! I find myself longing for rest and once again begging God for a reprieve. I don't know why our prayers for complete healing have not been answered yet. But I can tell you that even though it's been a rough 3 years, we have enjoyed periods of rest right before his health would take a downturn.
In March our family was able to enjoy 2 weeks in Hawaii which is my place of rest as I celebrated my 40th Birthday. Even though Ethan was still on his medication and he had some limitations and restrictions. We were able to enjoy being together and for 2 weeks we could forget the stress of home life and just relax. When you have a chronic illness you can never truly relax and forget that you have it, but we did our best to work with it and enjoy each moment we were there. We would surely need this time of rest, for when we got home things went downhill fast. Once again we are in a period of stress and uncertainty. I am trying desperately to cling to the promises of God to help get me thru this time. I so desperately want to be in Elim, but I know that God has a plan and a purpose for us while we are in Marah. One day I will look back and I will understand and it might not be until I get to Heaven before the answers are known. But until then I am holding on to Jesus knowing that he is forever faithful and is right beside us as we journey through this.
