The boys finished School yesterday. I can hardly believe Adam has finished Gr. 5 and Ethan Gr.3. I am so thankful for a year of good health for Ethan. It made going to School so much easier, although Ethan still does not like School. His first words to me when I picked him up on his last day of School " And my year of torture is over". He simply could not wait to get in the car and drive away from the School.
Last week Ethan started showing a trace of protein in his urine. Which is just slightly above normal, it is not enough for example, to warrant medical intervention. But it still makes my heart skip a beat, as that has been the start of many relapses for Ethan in the past. Thankfully after 5 days, Ethan went back down to negative, and I felt myself again breathing a huge sigh of relief. Even after 13 months, I still have some worry over when the other shoe will drop. I find myself wondering, is this over, or is this just a nice break? Only God knows what the future holds, I must constantly remind myself to give this over to God, that he is in control. Some days are easier than others, and on those hard days I find some good worship music to remind me of what I need to do. I found a song by Francesca Battistelli called "I'm Letting Go" that I really loved. Here is the chorus that I found especially meaningful to my life.
I'm letting go, of the life I planned for me and my dreams
I'm losing control of my destiny
It feels like I am falling and that's what it is like to believe
So I'm letting go
This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace
The fear of the unknown, beyond my comfort zone
So I am letting go
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